(Sergeant Connor enters the barracks just as Philip Ashton has struck Eddie Chappell on the mouth.)

SERGEANT CONNOR
SOAG!*... We've got a big one without you two starting little ones! What's it all about, Corporal?

*[military slang for "son of a gun"]

PHILIP ASHTON
It was a private argument, Sergeant.

CONNOR
Well, I didn't think it was part of the flamey war.

(The sergeant walks over to Chappell.)

CONNOR
Right, Chappell. Did you hit the corporal?

EDDIE CHAPPELL
Me?

CONNOR
(to Philip)
Did he?

PHILIP
No, Sergeant. I hit him once, that's all.

(The sergeant approaches Philip until his face is just inches away from his own.)

CONNOR
I see. So you hit him once, hey?

(Philip does not answer.)

CONNOR
Do you know what that means, lad?

PHILIP
Yes, Sergeant.

CONNOR
Well, what does it mean?

PHILIP
I could lose my stripe, Sergeant.

CONNOR
And get twenty-eight days in the glasshouse, lad. So you hit him once, hey?

PHILIP
Yes, Sergeant.

CONNOR
Well, you're lucky...because that's the way I see it. Each stripe gives you the right to one thump, which is the one you've given him. And it means I can thump you [Chappell] three times... and you [Philip] twice**. And one would be enough for the pair of you. So think about it! Let's have no more of this shenanigan.

**[He is referring to the difference between the number of stripes on any two soldiers' sleeves: sergeant = three; corporal = one; private = none.]

(He walks across the room.)

CONNOR
And if you've got to feel stroppy, Corporal, save it for gun drill. This morning, you handled that thing like a bloody gladiola.

(Sergeant Connor leaves the barracks.)

CHAPPELL
That's just what I said.

(Philip is furious at him again, until he sees that Chappell is joking.)

CHAPPELL
(pointing at Philip)
Hey, watch it! You've had your thump.

(Philip and Chappell both laugh.)

 

(from "For Strategic Reasons" by Harry V. Kershaw)