SERGEANT MALONE
Get your kit together, and report back here for the duty truck.

PHILIP ASHTON
What for?

MALONE
What for? You're going on a course. Didn't anybody tell you?

PHILIP
No.

MALONE
Well, it'll come as a nice surprise then, won't it?

PHILIP
(suspicious)
What sort of course?

MAJOR STEELE
You needn't worry, Ashton. I'm not sneaking an OCTU* on you.

*[Officer Cadet Training Unit]

PHILIP
Yes, sir.

STEELE
It's only for ten days.

MALONE
Back at rear HQ. You'll have swimming, tea in the NAAFI. It'll be nicer than sand and fan.

PHILIP
I'd rather stay with the platoon, if it's all the same.

STEELE
Well, it's not all the same, Corporal. You'll do what you're told...like everyone else.

PHILIP
Yes, sir.

STEELE
And you'll put up another stripe...just for the course...local, acting, unpaid.

(Philip frowns.)

STEELE
It's an important subject, Ashton, and the CO's very keen on getting the latest drill on it. The engineers have set up a mine warfare school...mainly for their own chaps, but they are taking a few infantry. The pioneer sergeant is going along as well.

MALONE
What? Sergeant Hazard?

(The major nods his head with a smile.)

MALONE
(to Philip)
Do you know him?

PHILIP
No.

MALONE
Hazard by name, and hazard by nature.

STEELE
He's a good soldier. We could use more like him.

MALONE
One thing...you won't have to make conversation. He'd talk the hind legs off a camel...and have the rest for dinner.

 

(from "Hazard" by Philip Purser)