DAVID ASHTON
Oh! I thought I might be seeing you again.

COLIN WOODCOCK
I don't know why. I certainly never expected to see you again.

DAVID
I'm told you've got a wife of your own now.

COLIN
Yeah.

DAVID
Well, does she know you're here?

COLIN
No.

DAVID
And you won't be telling her, of course.

COLIN
Yeah, I might.

DAVID
(laughing)
Who are you trying to kid?

COLIN
I said I might, and I might. Why shouldn't I?

DAVID
Well, if you don't know, mate... I mean, don't wait for me to tell you.

COLIN
Look, you're dead wrong, you know.

DAVID
What...about you?

COLIN
About Sheila. Anyway, I've come for the pair of shoes.

(He leans down, searching for the shoes.)

COLIN
She said she'd leave them down here, but she must have forgotten.

DAVID
(sarcastically)
Have you tried looking under the bed?

(Colin slowly stands up and turns toward David.)

DAVID
I'm not wrong about you, though, am I, mate?

COLIN
No, maybe not. Look, I wanted to marry Sheila, but she wouldn't have me. Oh, I tried it on and all. I thought, once she got you out of her system, she might change her mind, but she wouldn't have that either. Yeah, well, it's all happened a bit too late for me, but I'm glad she got you off her back. She deserves a lot better than you.

DAVID
You're very brave with your mouth.

COLIN
Yes. You'll be asking me where my uniform is, in a minute.

DAVID
That's right.

COLIN
Yeah, well, the answer is, I don't have one. Sometimes I'm glad I don't have one...like now, for instance.

DAVID
Brave with your mouth.

COLIN
Don't push it because I'm warning you. I could knock you through that nine-inch brick wall. I'd like it, but I know Sheila wouldn't. She's got to live in this slum, thanks to you.

DAVID
Thanks to me?

COLIN
(walking away)
Spare me the excuses. I'm off.

(He stops and turns toward David.)

COLIN
You think that I'm just a civvy on the make, right?

(David does not answer.)

COLIN: Yeah, well, I know what I am. Do you know what you are?

(David grabs Colin, and the two begin to fight until Sheila appears on the scene.)

SHEILA ASHTON: David!

 

(from "You Can Choose Your Friends" by John Foster)