HARRY PORTER
Edwin...

EDWIN ASHTON
Huh?

HARRY
Do you mind if I ask you an unfair question?

EDWIN
It depends. What is it?

HARRY
Do you see yourself as a failure?

EDWIN
Well, now...it, uh... How do you mean, exactly? I mean, there are so many ways a man can be a failure...father, husband, lover, breadwinner.

HARRY
No, as a man.

EDWIN
Oh, the whole thing, you mean.

HARRY
Yes.

EDWIN
Well, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I'm not trying to dodge the question, Harry, but...as Joad would say, it all depends what you mean by a man.* Why?

*[Cyril Edwin Mitchinson Joad was an English philosopher who became a well-known public figure from his wartime appearances on the BBC discussion programme, "The Brains Trust." His favourite expression, "It all depends on what you mean by..." became a popular catch-phrase of the day.]

HARRY
It's, um... It's the money, the...the hundred pounds. I can't pay you back. Unless something happens, some miracle, I... I shall never be able to pay you back.

EDWIN
I see. There's, uh...no way at all.

HARRY
None that I can see. I'm earning less money now, but we're still spending the same.

EDWIN
And the equation just doesn't work out, hey?

HARRY
No. Then there's my health, too. You know, I'm none too well. Well, we're none of us getting any younger. I'm just dreading the day that I'm laid off for a younger man and have to scrape by on a pension.

EDWIN
From bread and marge to bread and dripping, hey? And then just dry bread. I know.

HARRY
It's bread and butter for Celia...best butter. Do you know, I think I'm almost more afraid of breaking it to her than I was to you.

EDWIN
You...afraid of me? Oh, come on, Harry. I mean, we're both men of an age.

HARRY
I was a fool to ask you for it in the first place, but I was desperate. I honestly believed I could pay it back. I honestly did. I... I hope you believe that.

EDWIN
I never doubted your sincerity for a moment.

HARRY
I couldn't stop hoping, could I? Hoping that something would turn up. I... I don't know what. Hoping against hope, I suppose.

EDWIN
Well, certainly against probability. Let's put it like that, hmm?

(Edwin lays aside the fishing reel that he has been working on and leans toward Harry.)

EDWIN
Look, Harry, stop eating your insides out about the money. I won't pretend it's nothing...it's a hundred pounds. It's a hell of a lot. It could go towards financing my dreams. But first, I'll settle for reality. You look after yourself, first and foremost...get yourself straight. Then we'll see. We'll work something out.

HARRY
Yes, but what?

EDWIN
Well, I don't know. I'm not in charge of the future.
(chuckling)
I hope to God somebody is. Hoping against hope...it's stupid, it's irrational, it's mad even. Do you know what I think?

HARRY
What?

EDWIN
It's the only thing that makes life bearable.

 

(from "This Year, Next Year" by Robert Furnival)